Two brothers, George and Murray Fa*rkin are unable to be with us today, in fact the whole Fa*rkin family send their regards!
I was engaged myself once.
To a contortionist.
But she broke it off!
Wish you both all the best on your wedding day. Tonight I hope you score between the goals and not a behind.
She’ll offer her honour, He’ll honour her offer,
And all night long he’ll be on ‘er, off ‘er, on ‘er, off ‘er…
The total amount of undesired sex endured by women is probably greater in marriage than in prostitution.
Don’t keep him in the dog house too often
or he might give his bone to the woman next door!
The wedding night should be like a good chicken meal –
– a little bit of breast
– a little bit of leg
…. and a lot of stuffing!
A honeymoon couple is like an old TV set – four wobbly legs and a worn out knob!
If the stork brings babies which bird won’t?
The wedding night is like an aircraft taking off – Both hands on the joystick and flaps open…