Don’t keep him in the dog house too often
or he might give his bone to the woman next door!

If the stork brings babies which bird won’t?
A swallow.

A honeymoon couple is like an old TV set – four wobbly legs and a worn out knob!

The wedding night should be like a good chicken meal –

– a little bit of breast
– a little bit of leg
…. and a lot of stuffing!

Marriage is like a beautiful tree – it starts off with a good root.

The wedding night is like an aircraft taking off – Both hands on the joystick and flaps open…

Two brothers, George and Murray Fa*rkin are unable to be with us today, in fact the whole Fa*rkin family send their regards!

I was engaged myself once.
To a contortionist.
But she broke it off!

Wish you both all the best on your wedding day. Tonight I hope you score between the goals and not a behind.

She’ll offer her honour, He’ll honour her offer,
And all night long he’ll be on ‘er, off ‘er, on ‘er, off ‘er…